a little place in the corner to read, feel, and think.

Location: West Jakarta, D.K.I. Jakarta Raya, Indonesia

i'm just an ordinary person.

Friday, August 12, 2005


one night
i sleep without pray

nightmare have come to me

i fell into the darkest hole
without no end

this terrible agony
is restless

what should i do?

slit my throat?
cut my veins?

blown away my mind
my blood is deep frost
no gravity ... no heartbeat
no hope ...

is this heaven? or hell?
i don't see light, i don't see angel
i don't see flaming fire, i don't see devil

where is the eden?
where should i search for it?

nothing is found

in the end ...
the sunshine never come to wake me up

doomed to obscurity i have become ...

Sunday, July 03, 2005

about me ...

what i fear
is not loneliness ...
what i fear
is surrounded by fake friends ...

what i fear
is not a sickness that can't be cured ...
what i fear
is to be paralyzed ...

what i fear
is not being a handicap ...
what i fear
is another perfection ...

what i fear
is not an endless darkness ...
what i fear
is blinded by the white light ...

what i fear
is not life full of sin ...
what i fear
is life without faith ...

and ...

what i fear
is not death ...

what i feared most is ...
to be forgotten ...

Saturday, July 02, 2005

3rd post ...

i dive into the deepest sea
search for the biggest pearl
just to give it for you

i go into the darkest mine
search for the most beautiful diamond
just to give it for you

everything i do
just to see your smile
one more time

i have made contract with demon
traded my soul for a bargain
just to get your love

there are so many girls in this world
but ... there is only one sweet pea
that fits into my heart

because ...
to be loved by you
is just like ... a never ending dream

- for sweet pea - (#3)

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

2nd post ...

here i am ...
standing alone in the midnight
like a statue in the otherside of the road
looking at your window

shivering and cold

full moon ...
the silver light shine trough your room
so mysterious yet so calm
just like my feeling

if i could be anything in this world

i want to be your shadow
accompany you in day and night
staying close to you everytime
watching you anytime i want

if i could live anywhere in this world

i want to live behind your mirror
seeing your beautiful face
admire you eternally
adore you forever

but what can i do?

ordinary man, i am
a cowards that feared reality
doomed to obscurity
prisoner of the darkness

the truth is no word can tell ...

my love for you is not a lust ...

- for sweet pea - (#2)

Friday, June 24, 2005

1st post ...

like roses without thorn
and then a new love will be born

such beautiful eyes
such joyful smiles

climb up stairs to see you
gazing at stars and think about you

give my bed to make you comfort
give my sheet to make you warm

i have tasted the wine of pleasure
and my soul thirst for more

sinful child i have become
a traitor of trust

forgive me not, my lovely lady
forsaken me for my oath

bond to another eve, i have
cursed me forever

is this just another illusion?
or just another lust pass by?

only some dumb idiot would let you go ...

only god knows ...

- for sweet pea - (#1)